So these chicks at work keep bugging me to joint this site because they think it's so great. But then I've heard all kinds of mixed feedback like it's nothing but a buch of fat girls who want to go on dates, or all the chicks have STD's, etc.
But then my friend that does it met his current fiance on the site. He said most of the guys on there are either gigantic toolboxes or are dirly old men. Ok, cool...hope for me!
So I guess I'm on the fence mainly becuase it's kind of an ego thing for me. Like, "oh, it's come to trying to find a date on the internet?" "Man, I suck at life!"
Anyone care to share their experience and/or try to sway me?
I met a girl off Yahoo personals a few years ago. We had seen each other a few times, and I thought she was pretty cool. So one night, it gets hot and heavy, and I'm wearing a rubber. She tells me WHILE I'm banging her that she had genital warts a couple years prior.
I had to stop (uhh, who could keep going?). I told her I needed a little while to think about it, but for now, she'd better leave. I never talked to her again. She left me a nasty voicemail, but that was the end of it. I went back to meeting chicks in bars again, and a few months later, I met my current wife.
Thank God I tested negative for HPV after that brief nightmare.
It can be awsome and great for the self esteem. Yes you do have to weed out the wierdos, slobs, and skanks, but you learn quick who is for real. I met the most amazing match to myself by accident on Mate1. We were engaged til I freaked out about getting married again so soon. We are still friends and may end up back together. I flew to AZ to see her last weekend actually. She is the closest thing to a soulmate I've ever found. I also have several friends who I met online. After the weeding, these friends are here to stay and I'm greatful to have met them. There are ALOT more wierd guys with either psycho motives or twisted actions than there are females. My advice...be yourself. It's actually alot easier to do behind a screen than in person. I will always support online dating but will always advise caution and learning.
I met a girl off Yahoo personals a few years ago. We had seen each other a few times, and I thought she was pretty cool. So one night, it gets hot and heavy, and I'm wearing a rubber. She tells me WHILE I'm banging her that she had genital warts a couple years prior.
I had to stop (uhh, who could keep going?). I told her I needed a little while to think about it, but for now, she'd better leave. I never talked to her again. She left me a nasty voicemail, but that was the end of it. I went back to meeting chicks in bars again, and a few months later, I met my current wife.
Thank God I tested negative for HPV after that brief nightmare.
Yeah, I really like the bars too. Mainly for the mandatory disease testing so you knew who you were going home with.
That's an idiotic comparison that girls on Yahoo personals have more disease than a girl you pick up in a bar.
To the OP. I met my wife on Match.com. However, only after about 4 years of on and off dating from there. It can be frustrating, but no more so than meeting people in bars, clubs, or any place else for that matter.
The ability to buy expensive equipment does NOT make you an audiophile.
I actually met my current fiance on match as well. I met a couple of people from there, dated one for about a year and decided it wasn't a good fit. Decided to give it another go ahead and met a few more people and then really clicked with my fiance. Don't be crazy about it and don't be lazy about it either. It takes a little motivation, but if you are not an outgoing person or don't really ever meet people outside of your circle of friends, it definitely something to try. If the ladies at work are suggesting it to you, then they must feel you have something to offer. Just be real and don't try so hard and it should be fun. I'm sure you will meet a few weird ones here and there, but it makes for some great stories.
Maybe one day, enough lemmings will fill the trench, and people can cross over to the promised Nirvana.-some wiseguy.
How many dates did you go on MiniVanMan before you found your wife? I mean I hear that some chicks just go on dates so guys can buy them dinner?
I've peeked at the pictures on there a few times and I have to admit, some actually look very attractive. But then my gut instinct kicks in and says "well if they are on the internet, something must be wrong with them." Is this wrong? I'm just being honest here. Maybe I totally have the wrong impression.
I already have genital warts, so getting them is no problem! It's getting RID of them that's impossible. I kid.
I actually met my current fiance on match as well. I met a couple of people from there, dated one for about a year and decided it wasn't a good fit. Decided to give it another go ahead and met a few more people and then really clicked with my fiance. Don't be crazy about it and don't be lazy about it either. It takes a little motivation, but if you are not an outgoing person or don't really ever meet people outside of your circle of friends, it definitely something to try. If the ladies at work are suggesting it to you, then they must feel you have something to offer. Just be real and don't try so hard and it should be fun. I'm sure you will meet a few weird ones here and there, but it makes for some great stories.
My question to you is this: Were you on Match looking for a wife?? Or just seeing what would happen?
Reason I ask is because I have NO IDEA what to write for my personal profile? Like you said, don't try too hard. Well, I fell as though I have to try and advertise with it?
It can be awsome and great for the self esteem. Yes you do have to weed out the wierdos, slobs, and skanks, but you learn quick who is for real. I met the most amazing match to myself by accident on Mate1. We were engaged til I freaked out about getting married again so soon. We are still friends and may end up back together. I flew to AZ to see her last weekend actually. She is the closest thing to a soulmate I've ever found. I also have several friends who I met online. After the weeding, these friends are here to stay and I'm greatful to have met them. There are ALOT more wierd guys with either psycho motives or twisted actions than there are females. My advice...be yourself. It's actually alot easier to do behind a screen than in person. I will always support online dating but will always advise caution and learning.
If there is one guy on DIYMA who gives out great life/dating advice, it would be this man right here.
Tim helped me out a TON when I was going through my real bad breakup with a gf of nearly 2 years. Much thanks goes out to Tim
I can do all sorts of enclosures in the Houston area, PM for details.
Refs- A whole lot, just ask
Actually the first time around I was just looking to see what was out there. I met a few people, then I met my girl friend. Then after about a year I realized I didn't want a girlfriend or someone to just have fun with but was looking for a wife, someone who I WANTED to spend my life with. So I ended the relationship because I didn't see us together like that and went back on.
My second profile was different and I got a lot different responses the second time around. Just be honest with yourself. If you want someone to go around town with or have fun, make sure your profile kind of shows that. If you are looking for someone to settle down with, don't be afraid to have your profile say that. Go through and read a bunch of profiles, girls and guys. It will help you figure out what you want to say. Don't say too much, but don't say too little.
If you are just looking to meet people period, myspace seems like a good place to do that as well from what others say.
Maybe one day, enough lemmings will fill the trench, and people can cross over to the promised Nirvana.-some wiseguy.
My neighbor used it for a bit just to see the results ... not bad for the most part. This is a late 30s guy that stays in shape and has a solid carrer with good income. By no means needed to resort to it. He did for the simplicity and met his current GF of about 7mos now which I must say is ... WoWie !
If there is one guy on DIYMA who gives out great life/dating advice, it would be this man right here.
Tim helped me out a TON when I was going through my real bad breakup with a gf of nearly 2 years. Much thanks goes out to Tim
WOW! Thanks man, I never thought it helped all that much. You are welcome bro, anytime.
My deal is that I did it in reverse. I married the girl I was dating at 17(got married at 19). After 12 years with her and learning to truly realize things as they are and could be with anyone, I started listening to the part inside that most ignore. The hard things to realize, face, confront, deal with. At age 30 I began to start fresh with all that life experience. All the things I was told at a young age by my elders began to be remembered as the truth. Now I use the lessons for better or worse. Sometimes thinking you know can be a bad thing but at the same time you are protecting your emotions. It's quite hard to sum up in words but the learning never ends. For some reason it's harder to express in a public forum. One on one is more personal and open. I'm no Dr. Phil but I tell it from the heart and only if I know for sure it's been proven. The worst advice is untested advice. As far as internet experience, Myspace has been the greatest thing to happen to me. My friends comments to my blogs are a testimonial to who I want to be as a friend. That Tim never would've surfaced completely had it not been for Myspace and other sites.
You know the reason why so many of these dating sites have sprung up lately? It's due to the fact that as a culture and a nation we just aren't getting any better at effectively communicating with the opposite sex. Just look at our divorce rates. It's not anything to feel inferior over if you decide to try finding a decent person to date over the internet. Don't feel ashamed. It's the sign of the times in our nation and the state of things in general.If there ever were a country that needed an overhaul on people having relationships or lack there of it's America. The reason why so many people have difficulty finding suitable significant others is that we've become so self absorbed and caught up in our own typical greed driven selfish lives. What we are seeing in continuous failures of people living happily together or failing at even meeting someone is a direct reflection of our dysfunction in foreign policy,economics, and overall our own day to day interactions with our fellow countrymen. We value money more than we value other people lives.It's no wonder the rest of the world can't stand us because we can't trully begin to empathize with each other or else there wouldn't be such a need for other avenues to try and meet people such as the internet. You know things are bad overall when you need a screen to be personable and cordial with people and cannot do it in person.
I've got friends that have been to Europe and they claim that people there are just so much more in touch and less preoccupied with most the things we as Americans value. My friends tell me that Europeans are much more accepting of each other and laid back as well. I'm not hating on my own country or it's people. I'm just stating that I feel our culture as a whole is really in desperate need of some long needed change. We've got way too much "it's all about me" and not near enough "how bout you". Think about it! We are really the only country where people go on random killing frenzies because someone wasn't nice to them or they couldn't find a girlfriend. In other countries if an act of terrorism occurs it's usually due to a political purpose and not solely someone personally going on revenge waving the flag of their own fucked up life. What does this stem from you ask?..It's simply the mindset of "ME, ME,ME, ME,"; totally singular and never plural.
some really interesting statistics about the change in our country regarding families and single adults...
You know, the same girls that are out for money on the online personals are at the bar, the grocery store, or the party up the street as well..
I tried it out and met some GREAT ladies, none really clicked and made me want to propose, but it takes time and meeting different ladies... Lots of REAL and genuine people that are just tired of bar scenes...
I will say that their are enough fake ones on these sites, i mean it is not just coincidence that you get 5 mails the week your pay subscription is running out...
Give it a try, it makes you no less of a person, no different than trying to meet up with someone out on the town, just a different medium. Just do not mail every hot chick in a bikini, read the text and see if you would really get on well..
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Originally Posted by Kenny Bania
How many dates did you go on MiniVanMan before you found your wife? I mean I hear that some chicks just go on dates so guys can buy them dinner?
I've peeked at the pictures on there a few times and I have to admit, some actually look very attractive. But then my gut instinct kicks in and says "well if they are on the internet, something must be wrong with them." Is this wrong? I'm just being honest here. Maybe I totally have the wrong impression.
I already have genital warts, so getting them is no problem! It's getting RID of them that's impossible. I kid.
You know things are bad overall when you need a screen to be personable and cordial with people and cannot do it in person.
This seems to be true because we have become a society of people setting their standards higher and higher. Also women have become so much more independant and "strong". Also nothing is sacred anymore. Everything anyone says can travel the nation through texts and the web. It seems the smallest things have changed what we used to "pffft" off. This has created an "out to get me" or "he/she has gotta be bullshitting me" type of defense. It is much harder today to be honest and open than it was 15 years ago because people jump to conclude that you are lying or playing them. Blame that on instant communication, reality shows, and media coverage of silly things such as celebrity he said she saids and breakups.
Yeah, I really like the bars too. Mainly for the mandatory disease testing so you knew who you were going home with.
That's an idiotic comparison that girls on Yahoo personals have more disease than a girl you pick up in a bar.
It wasn't a direct comparison, but a summary of my personal experience. After hearing about the rumors regarding STD's with online personals, I was faced with that reality myself. Not that EVERY girl on there has an STD, but that one experience sure was scary enough for me.
I met a girl on myspace once. It was quite akward and afterwards I was like,"man I can't believe girls would do that after all the girls that have been raped and/or killed". She was a nice girl but not my type and we didnt' talk much after that.
Haven't done it since but a friend of mine does it all the time. He gets with a lot of girls on myspace. He has sex with a lot of them and then they buy him nice clothes at the mall?! Isnt' that cool? Especially for him because he's broke and hasn't had a job in a long time. He also owes me $200 and pretty soon I'm gonna make him sell all his clothes and give me my money.
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Yeah, I really like the bars too. Mainly for the mandatory disease testing so you knew who you were going home with.
Since when do bars force STD checks on people?
Alpine 9886, H701+C701, Seas Neo, Vifa TG9, ID CX62, Pair of IDQ10v2s, Audio Planet BB175.4B, Clarion APA4101 and of course, RAAM!
"Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off."
Men can not get HPV, it is a virus only women can get. At least thats what my doctor told me when I tried to get my tests done.
I want to pertain this to someone before that had mentioned that we are a society of people who don't know how to communicate with each other. I can not agree more. Unfortunately we are a community that has problems telling each other how we feel, because most aren't strong enough to speak or admit whats really on their mind, we are too into ourselves, or whatever the mood strikes. Most are just oblivious. Too many men and women have low self esteems, and/or low self respect. They are afraid to say the things on their minds because they are afraid to be judged or condemned. It really comes down to this, if you want to be in love, you have to learn how to love yourself first. Many have no idea what that means, and is expecting others to love you back. Its a walking contradiction, and a failing formula. I think a lot of relationships fail because people don't know what they want until they are towards to end of it. Then they realize "oh, I don't think I want to get involved in that anymore, I don't know what I was thinking." Its a lot of trial and error, and some people never get the point. Just for once, I would like to meet a girl who isn't an emotional mess underneath, who can be totally comfortable in her own skin, who is really independent, who doesn't have to hide clothes, or makeup. It would be refreshing.
I've been rather jaded with the whole bar/club scene. Its been good to me, and its fun, however I meet the same type of people over and over. Not to mention I run into many women that I've been on dates or have had past relations with. I am a little curious about trying match.com as well.
Pioneer AVIC-F90BT, 60gb video ipod,iPhone, Kenwood X1R, JL 10W6V2, rest is stock and happy.
add one more to the "I met a hot girl on match.com that had an STD"...
Luckily she told me of the herpes before I tapped it dirty. Smoking hot little thing from Detroit area, I should have known something was up. She was way too hot to not be able to land some local guy.
Oh well, at least she let me snap some pics of her, from the waist up of course, before she went back home!
I signed up for one of those way back in the mid-late 90's when you could get cool free stuff by signing up for different things/sites. Ah, the college days. I met my wife on one of the sites I signed up for. We talked online a few times but it was blah and we stopped talking. A few year later we ran into each other through friends and hit it off instantly. Within a few weeks we knew that it was the real deal. 0% chemistry on the computer, but married in person.
How many dates did you go on MiniVanMan before you found your wife? I mean I hear that some chicks just go on dates so guys can buy them dinner?
I've peeked at the pictures on there a few times and I have to admit, some actually look very attractive. But then my gut instinct kicks in and says "well if they are on the internet, something must be wrong with them." Is this wrong? I'm just being honest here. Maybe I totally have the wrong impression.
I already have genital warts, so getting them is no problem! It's getting RID of them that's impossible. I kid.
Many, many dates, over several years. To be honest, there were several times I said "fuck it", because I ran into serial daters (the ones that just want a dinner). The girls looking for a rebound that are so messed up they don't want anything other than to not think about their ex, but they do the entire time. The ones that flat out lie. "Yeah, I really like to run, and spend a lot of time at the gym", said the 350 lber oozing out the door.
The guys here talking about communication are right on. One thing Match.com let me do was be very forward in my communication (which if you have noticed I do quite a bit on here). I have opinions, and I'm VERY aware of who and what I am. I don't try to impress, but rather am very honest. People on dating sites are as much insecure about opening up as they are in person. If you're looking for somebody real, it takes some practice, but you eventually learn to weed through the bullshit and find the people that are genuine, and pretty much tired of the same bullshit you are.
Match.com was fun most of the time, and a complete waste of time other times. Just like going to bars and clubs. Like Durwood said though, you do acquire some great stories.
Also, understand, that usually the good looking women on Match are there because they're sick of the bar seen and the tools that approach them there. That doesn't mean that they're worth a shit themselves. Because I'm a sociologist (by education), I did quite a bit of experimenting with profiles to see what worked. The one that worked the most raise your income. No shit, that when I had my income listed at 50k which is a good, average income, I'd maybe get a 10% reply rate to any messages I sent out. If I raised my income level to above 100k, I had my mailbox filled without having to send any. There are a lot of people there that are VERY unrealistic about what they want, and what they deserve.
The ability to buy expensive equipment does NOT make you an audiophile.
Raising your income to over 100k and getting a flood of messages that you wouldn't otherwise receive, would you really want to associate with those types of money-grubing bitches?
add one more to the "I met a hot girl on match.com that had an STD"...
Luckily she told me of the herpes before I tapped it dirty. Smoking hot little thing from Detroit area, I should have known something was up. She was way too hot to not be able to land some local guy.
At least they told you. They could have been dishonest and just let it fly.
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Originally Posted by MiniVanMan
Many, many dates, over several years. To be honest, there were several times I said "fuck it", because I ran into serial daters (the ones that just want a dinner). The girls looking for a rebound that are so messed up they don't want anything other than to not think about their ex, but they do the entire time. The ones that flat out lie. "Yeah, I really like to run, and spend a lot of time at the gym", said the 350 lber oozing out the door.
Spend some time talking to them on the phone. Hopefully you can spot the ones that are messed up.
As far as the dating for free food ones, meet them for coffee or something simple first. Or if you meet them and suspect a will date for free food, White Castle, Culvers, etc etc This also works if they aren't what you were expecting.
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I did quite a bit of experimenting with profiles to see what worked. The one that worked the most raise your income. No shit, that when I had my income listed at 50k which is a good, average income, I'd maybe get a 10% reply rate to any messages I sent out. If I raised my income level to above 100k, I had my mailbox filled without having to send any. There are a lot of people there that are VERY unrealistic about what they want, and what they deserve.
I did some experimenting too, mainly on changing my profile wording or selecting categories. I never tried going up to the $100K money mark. I had a feeling what that would bring me. I should have tried it just to see. I made the mistake of completely changing my profile drastically while I just starting to talk to one girl. I think she realized by me changing it, it meant that I wasn't interested in her or she thought I wasn't being truthful (I wasn't interested in her). But Minivan is right, it does become interesting if you make it interesting and turn it into an experiment. it also helps you learn more about yourself and what you do an don't want...if you don't have a clue already.
Maybe one day, enough lemmings will fill the trench, and people can cross over to the promised Nirvana.-some wiseguy.
Anyone do Match.com??
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